the ground beneath me

I was on my way to school today. I was in no hurry, but I was late, so I wasn't sluggish by any means. But apparently, the wiry man with a greying goatee in the Mercedez behind me though otherwise. Just inches from my rear bumper, he was entirely too close for my tastes. However, on barely five hours of sleep, I was too tired to expend energy on anger and I proceeded to ignore him. About fifteen seconds later, I calmly began to merge into the exit lane. I checked my blind spot and there he was! I slammed on the breaks and tires squaled as I fishtailed and he blurred past.

I then did what any sane driver would do, I sped up behind him at the stoplight, layed on my horn and swore at him as loudly as I could. I used "road-rage sign language." No, I did not flip him the bird (at that point), but I explained to him, by waving my arms incessantly, that I was trying to get over and that he was in the wrong by zooming through my lane change. Something that is entirely too complex for gestures, but the metal and glass surrounding you limit your communication ability somewhat. Add a near-miss car incident, and voila, you have some serious road rage sign language, followed by the bird.

I imagine Speedy Gonzalez thought I was in the wrong as he started his own road rage sign language and answered my one-finger-salute with his own classy one-finger-salute-kiss-his-hand-one-finger-salute.

After we went our separate ways, I started thinking about what his point of view must have been. Maybe he really did think I was in the wrong and he was doing everything right. Maybe I had done something that I was unaware of and was returning some sort of favor. It reminded me that every argument happens because of differing viewpoints. There wouldn't be an argument if you both had the same viewpoint.

It has helped me in some disagreements to pretend to go over to the other viewpoint and try and examine the issue from over there. It sure doesn't fix the problem. I don't think anyone would ever all of a sudden agree with their opponent. Imagine James Carville and Rush Limbaugh debating and Carville stops talking for a moment (yeah, that's a miracle all on its own). Then he says "wait a minute, Rush. You mean to say that if we stop all our wellfare problems, I too will have to pay less in taxes, therefore retaining more of the money that I work hard everyday to earn?" At that point Rush would grow a wide smile and say "James, are you looking at this issue from my point of view?" ... It just won't happen. However, it does help you explore what might be going throught the other person's head, therefore opening up your mind, slightly.

So I did that. I looked at the other point of view. I thought about what the other man in the nice car was thinking. And he's still wrong. He's an asshole and the ground beneath him shows one point of view - the wrong one.