Driving with Twine

Back in the day, I literally broke my accelerator pedal again and drove with twine. It was not quite as fun as driving with rope.

Impeded progress

So I broke my accelerator pedal today. Snapped it in half. The thing was made out of plastic. Now I'm no expert in automobile accelrator-pedal construction, but hollow plastic doesn't seem to be the material of choice when it comes to durable goods. However, it might say something about what this world is coming to (see New and Impoved ). I was on the highway trying to get into that coveted "no one else allowed" lane (the same area where The Ground Beneath Me occured), when one guy really decided no one else was allowed. I did my best to get into that lane, but to no avail. I tried so hard that I somewhat hindered any progress in any direction what so ever--by breaking my gas pedal. After slamming on the aforementioned accleration tool, I felt no resistance where there used to be a beefy spring loaded plank of what I later discovered was pure plastic. I literally picked up the pedal off the floor, twisted the thing around in my hand a couple times and gave an Indianna Jones look of confusion, surprise and horror.

Some quick thought process made me think to flip on the cruise control and use that to accelerate my self off of the highway to a safe assesment area. After stopping at my first red light, I realized that I could not engage my cruise control at 0 mph. I literally had to put my hazzard lights on and coast at about 1 mph to a cross street - and down town is full of one ways and no turns.

About three blocks later I turned off and tried to check out the stub where my friend, the accelerator had once been. Those things are friggin stuck back there! Upside down with my legs hanging out the door, I finally found the snapped plastic end. I found that for some reason, there was a sort of weight stuck upwards where the pedal connected to the rest of the car, and figured if I could wrap something around it, I could pull and accelerate. I pulled out a T-shirt and later got my hands on a section of rope and was driving like a sailor, and cursing like one too. It has been an intersting evening, but if anyone knows where I can get some titanium replacement pedals, shoot me an e-mail.

Matrix Messiah

There have been several links made between the movie The Matrix and of Jesus Christ's life. The most obvious parallel is that one of the major factors in Keanu Reeves' charatcer, Neo's path is Trinity, another name for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Neo's name in the Matrix world is Thomas Anderson, quite possibly paying homage to his doubt that he is "the one" (doubting Thomas). Also, Anderson translates to son of Ander, and in greek, andros, meaning man. Son of Man, one of Jesus' nicknames.

John the Baptist said of Jesus "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is He on behalf of whom I said, 'After me comes a Man who has a higher rank than I, for He existed before me'. And I have seen, and have borne witness that this is the Son of God." Morpheus brings Neo into the real world telling everyone that he blindly believes that Neo is "the one" who will come to save them from the machine world.

As the story progresses, Cypher betrays the crew and tries to benefit by selling them out. This draws directly from Judas who betrayed Jesus.

Here's where the story gets a little turned around, as it would be tough to translate it exactly. Jesus foretold others of his death and resurection, but in The Matrix, the Oracle foretells that either Neo or Morpheus would have to die and in a passing comment said "you may be waiting for your next life," referring to the resurection. Either way, someone was going to be killed. When the crew is about to sacrifice Morpheus' life in order to save the codes of Zion, Neo decides to go in after him, knowing full well that they may be killed.

When Neo goes and saves Morpheus, Trinity and Morpheus get out of the Matrix, and Neo is last, after some fist fighting and running, he gets killed. Shortly thereafter, (not quite Jesus' 3 days) he gets up, after being saved by love of Trinity.

There are several more parallels, but I won't go into them. If you want to see more, I got these from http://awesomehouse.com/matrix/parallels.html.

My main point is that out of all 3 Matrix movies, the first one is absolutely the most interesting and entertaining movie, simply because they were using the story of Jesus as a springboard instead of writing a story just to finish up the series.

Got this somewhere else

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's condition is
improving every day. Any reports of it's lack of incandescence are
totally unfounded, and the result of delusional "spin" assaults from the
fanatic, elitist, liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably,
and anything you say undermines the lighting effect and dims it's ego.
Why do you hate freedom?

We're all homo sapiens

This article is to be printed in the Wake www.Wakenews.org. All rights reserved.

There are people out there who are attracted to humans of the same sex. gasp! It’s true. And believe it or not, some of them want to get married. -shriek!- Tell me why I should care. I have searched, and I can’t find a decent argument against gay marriage. Perhaps I will see the light when I read what’s on the other half of this page. But for now: Go dudes!

During this gay debate, it’s important to realize that true homosexuality is not learned, according to a May 2005 study by the Karolinska Institute in Sweden. Those Swedes found that gay men, like women, reacted to chemicals put off by other men, while straight men only reacted to chemicals from females. Like Ron Burgundy said – “It’s science.”

When the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court first ruled for gay marriage in Nov. 2003, President George W. Bush said that he would “do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage.” Dubya! Sanctity? Come on! Couldn’t your press secretary come up with anything better than that?

sanctity n : the quality of being holy

Now let’s be honest. Here in America, I could vote at 18 (26th Amendment), I can’t own slaves (13th Amendment) and I can write this article without fear of the government taking me out back and roughing me up (First Amendment). Thanks Constitution, I owe you one.

Not only does the First Amendment to the Constitution protect my right to write, but it also protects the separation of church and state. “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” bla bla bla. Translated: The government has to keep their hands out of God’s cookie jar. Dubya doesn’t have the right to keep churches from recognizing the union between a couple with the same kind of music-makers.

And to be honest, there are much more serious issues threatening the “sanctity” of marriage. Has any politician come out and said anything about “doing everything possible to lower divorce rates around the country?” I think a giant hefty bag full of us know what it is like to be ravaged by a parents’ divorce but have never had to “suffer the wrath” of a gay marriage. And no offense to any of you who have flown out to Vegas for a quicky with Elvis, but I think shotgun Vegas marriages would get put in the “not-so-holy” stack.

But maybe, just to be safe, the lawmakers should keep their hands off of God’s massive chocolate chip cookie called marriage.

Since homosexual attraction is “science,” a union between two people should be recognized by the state. They don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on flowers and little ribbons to get married in a church (although I’m sure those guys from Queer Eye wouldn’t give that up for a life time supply of cuticle therapy crème).

Any couple, regardless of race, religion or sexual preference should be able to save a couple bucks on their taxes, be together in the hospital and enjoy the benefits from their places of employment. Homosexuals can’t change who they are attracted to, just like heterosexuals can’t. So whether you like it or not, homos should be able enjoy the same right to a civil union that heteros do. The way I see it, it’s only a matter of time.